The High Cost of Saying No

One of the most common reactions we can expect by asking someone if they would like to do something constructive is less than excited. We can generally expect excuses and disinterest in the activity. Unfortunately, this seems to be a growing trait of our youth and perhaps even higher into the ranks of adulthood. But saying "no" has a cost.

One of the first costs of saying "no" has to do with relationships. To build on this I will use one of the principles that I believe in, the emotional bank account. As childish as it may sound, we can either make deposits into our accounts or withdrawals and when you involve others, the dynamic is different than with just yourself. Each positive response can be seen as a deposit, each negative response as a withdrawal because you are taxing the relationship.

Imagine a situation in which you've been asked to come to activities repeatedly by friends or colleagues and the reply is continuously negative. More than likely, that starting principle begins to decrease until there is nothing left. People will note that there is not point asking you things because there are no withdrawals left to make.

A second cost, in my opinion, is that of health. The mental conditioning of exploring new things, inventing new ideas, and expanding your scope seems essential to your development as a creative being. Not doing so can leave you with an internal turmoil to have the desire to change, but not actually possessing the ability to do so. Some people call this willpower, mind over matter, or motivation, but I think that it just comes down to being open. A very strong-minded person can say "no" all day, but a very close-minded could hardly ever say "yes". When we close off the world, I believe that, like the metaphorical goldfish, we will never grow again. We have to have scope within which to find our ideas. When we've fished the lake of our minds long enough, no fish will remain.

The last cost which I will mention is the cost of ability. To all those who are still asking, if you don't use it, you WILL lose it. This happens with language, sports, and the arts. There is no escaping it. Your tongue will become limp after you don't speak for awhile. Anyone who has ever tried to learn or has learned a new language can tell you that. When you can no longer hear the words in your head, you'll have to find them again. Muscle will fade quicker than the mind, you're body will become weak and worn, and your mind will become dull. If not engaged in meaningful activities, you cannot maintain your edge.

Though each of these costs are independent of each other, they are significant in themselves. Sometimes it's not possible to maintain them all and one of them must take the hit. Generally for professionals they won't have the time to do recreational activities with friends or stay out each night, but they are otherwise engaged in things that keep them sharp. The question is, what are you doing to make sure that you are on top of your game and no going into debt saying "no" each day?